The road less travelled...

*groan* More sore feet and legs, but a very productive day. I have a new favourite weird place in Berlin - the state library newspaper archive. It's set in the middle of the docks (yes, the landlocked city has docks!) and also in the middle of huge amounts of building works. I felt very out of place wandering among blokes with sledgehammers and barrows and laying cement, I can tell you.

But the end result was brilliant - almost thirty articles for my thesis from various German newspapers - and I got to print them all for free! More than makes up for yesterday's annoyance. I got there at 10.15am and was out the door by 11am. How good is that?!

Having so much time on my hands, I headed for the Memorial for the Murdered Jews of Europe. I have seen this being built during my two visits to Berlin in 2004, but this was my first chance to see it complete and it's quite astonishing. I find the information centre beneath the field of stone more interesting as well as very clearly explained and informative.

For some comparison to the rather depressing visit, I headed for the German Resistance Museum. However I have to admit that I was once more irritated that they continue to ignore the existence of the Rosenstrasse protest. Would it be too much to include a presentation on that to accompany those of the other civilian protests like the White Rose and the Rote Capelle? *sigh* Apparently I'm being greedy!

But then I got this and I can't help giggling. Rather a lot actually. Enjoy!

DEFCON alerts

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability.

It's not only the British and the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

And at a local level...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy, some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath). New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shut, I hope Austrulya will come end riscue us".. In the event of invasion, New Zealanders will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called "Bondi".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries!" to "She'll be right, mate!" Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!", "I think we'll have to cancel the barbie this weekend", and "The barbie's cancelled". There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the used of the final escalation level.

And now it's back to writing!