The road less travelled...

Title: If You Knew Your Future… Chapter 11/?
Author: katherine_b
Characters/Pairing: The Doctor (Ten) and Donna
Rating: G
Spoilers: All of series four of NuWho
Summary: Donna wakes up to find herself in a world that is much too familiar.

Chapter XI – Not Alone Anymore

The other Doctor waves from the doorway of his TARDIS, and he and Anna are gone the next moment.

“Come on then, you,” Donna orders, tugging on the grey-clad arm brushing against hers. “Let’s get out of here before things get any more weird.”

“Anywhere except Petra am Hakron,” he says with a grin.

“That’s not like you,” she teases. “I thought you usually went looking for trouble.”

“Actually, it usually goes looking for me.” He takes her hand and they head back through the market to the TARDIS. “And often finds me,” he adds with a chuckle

There’s silence between them until they’re in the TARDIS, but once the ship is heading into the Vortex, the Doctor comes over to stand in front of her.

“Better?”

“Mm hmm.” She smiles. “Much.”

“Good.” He slides an arm around her shoulders and they walk out of the console room and into the library.

Donna’s rather puzzled by the silence that continues as she settles on the couch, her legs stretched out in front of her. The Doctor stands in front of the bookcase, apparently gazing at the assorted titles, but in reality Donna knows that something is bothering him.

She says nothing, aware that usually he can’t stand silences and has to break them. This time, however, she’s in for a surprise, as he says nothing.

He remains at the bookcase, running his index finger over the volumes, seemingly engrossed.

Except that, now and then, she catches him stealing glimpses at her when he thinks she’s not looking.

In the end, it’s her, not him, who moves to change things.

“Oh,” she exclaims suddenly, and he glances at her over his shoulder, his expression one of enquiry. “I completely forgot to admire the new suit!”

The Doctor grins and turns to face her, spreading his arms wide. She gets up and strolls over, shooting a frustrated glance at him.

“You just had to get pinstripes again, didn’t you?”

“Why?” He looks down at himself in obvious confusion. “What’s wrong with pinstripes? I look good in pinstripes!”

“I suppose I should be thankful that you at least went for a different colour.”

“We-ell,” he rubs the back of his neck, “actually, they didn’t have blue – or brown. And I didn’t think you’d like me in pink.”

She rolls her eyes. “You are hopeless, aren’t you? Okay then, let me have a closer look.”

He turns around so that she can examine the back and she steps forward, smoothing her hand across his shoulders.

“Very nice,” she says as she makes the collar lie properly.

“Oh, it has your approval, then, does it?” the Doctor teases.

“Turn around and let me have a look at the front again.”

She runs her eyes slowly up his body, occasionally reaching out to tweak or twist the material.

“Mm, excellent. High quality workmanship.” And then her eyes reach his face. “The problem starts here.”

He arches an eyebrow. “What are you on about?”

She takes hold of his jacket lapels so that he can’t get away, her gaze intense. “What’s the matter, Doctor?” And then, as he stays silent, his eyes sliding guiltily away from her face, “Oh, don’t try to get out of this one. I know you’re not your normal self and I intend to be told why.”

When he says nothing, his lips setting into a firm line that suggests he’s not about to speak, Donna begins to muse aloud on what might be causing it, watching him closely for a hint that she’s right.

“Well, let’s see. You weren’t like this last night when we were lying on my bed. Not that it was night, as such, but you know what I mean. And although you didn’t like the idea of buying a new suit, you seemed happy enough when we got the market – I know you secretly rather like shopping. Then, of course, we met the other Doctor and – oh, so that’s it then.” She’s felt him tense under her hands and is surprised at herself for not realising it before. “It’s the fact of meeting up with him that you didn’t like.”

“No, not that.” He suddenly breaks free of her hold and crosses the room in several long strides. Seeming to feel more comfortable at a distance, although his back is still to her, he asks, “Would you have gone with him?”

“Ah.” Donna suddenly understands. “You thought I was going to leave you and go off with him.”

He turns and fixes her with a look that makes her feel strangely uncomfortable. “Would you? If he’d asked you to? If there’d been no other companion?”

She shifts her gaze to the floor and shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean – he’s still you. But I wasn’t the same when I was with him. And it was so hard, knowing everything when he didn’t. But if we went to other places…”

“We can go to other places, too,” he muttered, turning away again.

“Blimey, I know what this is about.” She props her hands on her hips. “You’re jealous, mate, that’s what you are! Jealous of yourself! Oh, isn’t that a laugh?”

“I am not!” He rounds on her, looking disgusted. “I’m not jealous!”

“No?” She sits down on a convenient footstool and looks up at him, grinning. “Then what are you?”

“Honestly?” His expression becomes similar to that of a lost child and he swallows hard. “Frightened.”

“Frightened?” She stares at him in confusion. “Of what?”

He turns away and leans on one of the shelves, but Donna sees he shoulders shake as if he’s fighting for control. She gets up and goes over to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Doctor?”

Suddenly he turns and wraps his arms around her in a fervent embrace, trembling in her arms, just as he did after that terrible time on Midnight. She holds him, wondering, until a strange, foreign sensation seeps into her mind.

Closing her eyes, she focuses on the feeling, relaxing her hold on the Doctor as she does so. But then the emotion begins to fade, and she realises that the hollow, empty ache is coming from him.

“You’re lonely,” she whispers, clinging to him as the emotion builds to a crescendo inside her. “So very lonely. All your life. Oh, Doctor…”

She looks up into his gaze, his eyes dark pools of conflicting emotions. His voice, when he finally speaks, is a faint rasp.

“Only one other person ever realised that about me.”

Donna smiles. “Oh, I know more about you than Madame Pompadour ever dreamed of!”

His lips curl into a small smile in reply, but the pain remains in his eyes. “Well, you do have a slight advantage.”

“If I’d made proper use of it sooner, I’d have realised.” She rests her head on his shoulder and places one hand on his chest between his hearts. “Doctor, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Nobody ever stays with me forever,” he whispers. “No matter how much they want to. Why should you be any different, Donna?”

She reaches up and lightly touches his face, trying to comfort him – but then stops as she feels a tiny, icy spot of coldness on her hand. It’s strangely familiar, and yet, because this is the Doctor and he doesn’t do what humans do when they’re sad, it shouldn’t be. So she pulls back and looks up at him.

“Doctor – are you crying?”

“What? No!” He pushes her away so hard that she falls to the floor, and then desperately wipes his hands down his face. “No, Donna – no! No! No, no, no, no!”

Donna doesn’t even notice the hard landing. She can feel the droplet, like a bead of ice, being absorbed unnaturally quickly into her skin. There are other changes, too, which she can track over her entire body. And when it’s finished, when she finally realises how unnaturally silent the room has become, then she looks up at the Doctor and there’s a tiny smile on her face.

“I think it should be ‘yes’.”

“No!”

His voice is a shout, almost a scream of agony.

“No – I can’t have… Not that!”

“But you did,” she tells him. “I can feel it.”

He stares at her, glares at her, before a sudden look of hope flashes across his face.

“One tear – it wouldn’t be enough.”

“No.” She looks at him. “No, one wouldn’t be enough. But two would. And the other Doctor, before he took it all away, I felt it on my cheek…”

She pauses for a moment, her face twisted into a half-smile and her other hand reaching out to touch the place where that other tear had landed in that other TARDIS during that other final moment.

“Two tears – that’s all it’s going to take.”

Next Part

Links to previous parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 (the sad one) Part 4 (the really sad one) Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10